Death of a Vision

I've long known that God's Word contains a major theme throughout both the Old and New Testaments that I (and others) call the Death of a Vision. Indeed, I've taught it for many years. Abraham and Sarah faced it. Rachel faced it. Jephthah, Samuel, many of the OT heroes. The woman who had a bleeding disorder, Jairus, and many others faced it. It happens when you are faced with a no-hope situation. Everything you longed for, believed in, envisioned...it expires.

When that happens, it's a situation that calls for despair. Or for accepting the grace of God. Drawing nearer to Him. Trusting Him that He has a better plan. Something more glorious and gracious than you could imagine.

Today I'm finally having to face the death of a vision that I saw coming for several years. I don't like it. It breaks my heart. It destroys some of the egotistical fantasies that I've entertained for years. It will mean humiliation at the hands of my enemies. Long, unending dramas in which I'm the loser at every turn. Long nights of lying awake and reconstructing my failures. More loneliness and depression.

But therein lies the opportunity to grab hold of grace. To abandon the old vision, as Christ had to do when he rejected Satan's tempting offer. To instead look past the pain and humiliation to find a better future. It is a challenge I would rather not have faced. But let's have at it.

Categorizing Life's Problems

I suppose I should be thankful. No, I'm certain of it. But sometimes it's hard. People all over the world have serious problems: fatal accidents, serious health problems, unemployment, war, crime, all kinds of stuff.

Me? I have kid problems. That's pretty much it. But they are so vexing. Nothing seems to hurt a parent as much as your kids' indifference (or worse) toward you, especially when you try so hard. And when their antipathy reaches what I can describe only as deeply bizarre, it leaves you not only abandoned but also desperately confused. What on earth could I have done to inspire such animosity?

I hate lying. I hate undeserved hatred. I hate fake Christianity. Our Lord is the key to life and happiness. He is majestic, powerful, loving, surprising, deep, and reliable. He offers so much and asks so little. But so many people respond to him by "religionizing" him. They put him in a box called "Sunday-go-to-meeting" so they can comfortably ignore him, violate his every command, and yet pretend to "be a Christian". Yuck.

I truly don't know how Suzanne weathers the storm. I look at her and see real Christianity in action, and love her all the more for her ability to wade through the crap and come out looking so gracious.

I think I'll play a wargame.